What I've Learned From the Failures in My Life

After a brief conversation with an onetime friend this week, I knew I had to write about not merely what to recall when life generally only sh*ts all over you lot, just also about how agreement that the failures in your life can exist difficult but necessary lessons to acquire.

And how they tin can often make you stronger… Yous've but got to get through the damn things in the start identify which is never, ever easy.

[Trigger warning: This post, or pages it links to, contains information about mental health which may be triggering to some.]

The brief conversation I had with Sam (not their real name, and who shall remain genderless) is something I merely haven't been able to cease thinking about all week – information technology actually, really upset me when I heard what they'd been going through. Although we oasis't seen other for years, nosotros take known each other for over 25 years and keep in touch sporadically.

Basically I messaged Sam this week for a particular reason (not relevant to the topic in hand). Equally you lot do, I asked the How are you, hope life'south treating you well question, only to find out that Sam has basically been having the sh*ttiest time of late. Information technology seems that everything that could be going wrong in someone's life has been going wrong for Sam: Chore, money, health, relationship, you lot name it. And they sounded incredibly unhappy, something I've never, ever known them to be.

Finding that out from someone y'all've known for so long makes you experience so helpless. It makes yous think y'all've non been a good friend and wonder why you didn't know this already. But as I'g sure many of you find, it's hard to keep up with all your friends all of the time. Life just gets in the manner of that text or that Facebook message which takes merely x seconds to write (or even amend, that phone call)… A lame excuse, but one I'k certain you're all familiar with.

Anyway – the only consolation I could requite in our cursory conversation (as so frequently happens you tin never catch them at a time when they've nothing to practice except sit effectually and reply to messages – who has that sort of fourth dimension anyway?) was that things practice, and Tin change. I dubiety that there isn't 1 person reading this who hasn't gone through a severely sh*tty fourth dimension in their life, and some more than others – to the extent that we wonder how they ever got through it.

The failures in my life

I know people similar that in life: Those who've gone through the accented worst that life could throw at them, but that came out the other side happy, successful, fifty-fifty but smile. Unfortunately I've likewise known those that couldn't – and very sadly didn't – go through it. Whilst I personally haven't ever experienced annihilation truly, truly awful (to the point where life but doesn't seem worth living), I wanted to share with yous some of the things that take happened in my life that are considered failures. Things similar…

1. A failed get-go marriage. The hymeneals preparations pretty much lasted longer than the marriage itself.
2. Getting into debt in my 20s. Not equally much every bit some, but enough to have to get back home to live with my parents for a couple of years after the marriage ended in order to be able to pay the debt off.
3. Taking the wrong job. I did this a few times – took a chore just to observe out it was worse than the one I was leaving it for.
4. Not getting my dream job. My absolute dream job came along when I was about 28 and I didn't get it. I call back I was downward to the last two and I was admittedly devastated when it went to the other candidate.
5. Setting upward a small business that went nowhere. Lesson learned – do your homework, take a business plan, make sure information technology's something that people volition proceed to want, etc. etc. I didn't exercise whatsoever of those things.
6. Getting bad management. Some of you may have read almost my financial crisis concluding summer – mostly due to management that failed to pay me the money I earned from blog campaigns, then disappeared off the face up of the planet.
7. Working for a company that went bust, attributable me thousands. I continued to piece of work (freelance) for a company that said they'd pay me next calendar month. Next month came, and they said they'd pay me the next month again. Which went on and on until they merely went into liquidation – I could have stopped working for them right at the start until they paid me, simply instead I just blindly carried on.

The betoken of talking about all these "failures" is that now, with retrospect, I can await back and see that without all these things happening to me I wouldn't be the person I am today. Whilst at that place are lots of things I desire to change and "would if I could", I know that these things have, for the most role, fabricated me a better person.

How all those things made me a meliorate person

Want to know how I learned from all those failures in my life?

1. Without that first spousal relationship I wouldn't have met my second husband Keith (for diverse reasons, but run into point four).
2. Without getting into and then much debt I wouldn't be the finance-savvy, skillful money-saving person I am today – I can sniff a disbelieve code a mile away and juggle coin similar there's no tomorrow.
3. Without all those wrong jobs I wouldn't take concluded up blogging for a living, especially the one that bored me and so much I started writing the weblog in the first place.
4. If I'd got that dream job I wouldn't take met Keith, every bit theadjacentjob I went to instead was where he worked and we met. See point 1.
5. Without setting up that small business concern I wouldn't accept had a reasonable understanding of doing a tax return or been afraid to continue proper records now that I'thousand a professional blogger. I tin can do my taxation return in 45 minutes flat, I'yard that organised.
6. Without getting bad direction I wouldn't have been put in touch with the person who acts every bit my agent at present – and who does anincrediblejob of negotiating on my behalf, as well as someone I now consider a good friend. I also know how to take someone to courtroom and wouldn't be afraid to exercise information technology again.
7. Without working for that company that went bust I wouldn't know what it's similar to be fobbed off about payment and wouldn't recognise the signs of a company getting into trouble. I have companies owing me money very, very seriously at present and accept no prisoners – I've been burned too many times.

Then there you take it – all the failures in my life accept ultimately resulted in good things happening. Therefore (and this is the key matter to call up) THEY ARE NOT ACTUALLY FAILURES AT ALL. Certain, if I could wave a magic wand I wouldn't want to go through them again, only some (similar the first failed marriage ultimately leading to my second) are no-brainers… I'd go through them a hundred times if I knew what they'd pb to eventually.

And so my friend Sam won't exist reading this I'm sure, merely rest assured they are in my thoughts and I hope to god that my words (albeit a quick message near knowing a little about what they'd gone through and how I'k always available to talk to) had some bear on. I really promise they hang on in there and that practiced things come their way.

Silver linings? Aye, I believe in those. They simply don't come forth without said cloud coming along and dumping their sh*t all over you beginning.

Do you have any similar "clouds with silver linings" stories? Do share in the comments…

Final notation…

Whilst I'yard no expert on depression, if you're having the sh*ttiest time in life and so delight, delight, please reach out to someone. Whether it be a shut friend, a relative or a professional, please just reach out and ask for help. Things can – and will – get better, I promise y'all… Simply delight don't try and become through it lonely. There will e'er be someone who tin can help you.

If you or someone y'all know is affected past any of these problems, please seek help, or just talk to someone. If you are in the UK, call the Samaritans on 116123 or go to their website https://www.samaritans.org. Every bit their website says,Talk to us whatever time you like, in your own way, and off the record – nigh any's getting to y'all. You don't accept to exist suicidal.

If y'all're in the US call the US National Suicide Prevention Lifeline on 1-800-273-8255 or the Crunch Exam Line by texting Domicile to 741741.

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Source: https://www.notdressedaslamb.com/2017/03/what-ive-learned-from-failures-in-my-life.html

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